Monday, July 2, 2012

go ahead & hit me with the hammer with this headache I won't feel it!

For all of you that deal with Migraines I soooo understand your pain, not that I really want to share it with you, but I have had them since I was 15.


I went through a bottle of 100 asprins in 7 days & my folks noticed, being good parents or just tired of trying to get an asprin for themselves...... off to the doctors we went.


Me being only 15 at the time, had no idea what the big thing was...so I took a few pills for the pain, why was everyone freaking out on me?


 Like really???  what I did not know was I had thinned my blood so much, I could bleed out & just one more asprin could have killed me.  Ok, so then I got it after the doctor told me & my folks this...but hey what about this monster headache that just won't go away?


After another visit to a hospital with a big noisy machine that felt like a coffin & a needle in my arm sending who knows what in me, they declared a under developed vein on the left side of my head above my temple....So now we knew what was happening but  not how to stop the headaches that would later in life send me to bed for sometimes up to 2 weeks, make me throw-up, see stars & flashes of lights that made my head feel like it should go belong to someone else.


Part of growing from a girl to a woman seemed to have kick started it & by the age of 17 I was up to eating 13 asprins at one time to numb my brain...Did you know you can actually get a weird brain numbing high from eating this many asprin at one time?...Well I didn't but it sure didn't help with the school work or trying to talk to someone & make sense.  I knew from age 15 eating that many was bad, but when you feel like a semi-truck is running over your head & then backing up over it again & again you will do anything to stop it.


Fast forward to age 19 & pregnant with my son, Oh lordy no pills of any kind & all that throwing up was not due to morning sickness.  The pain got so bad that I could not lay my head on a pillow, learned to sit Indian style in the bed & fall asleep with my chin resting on my chest.  Sometimes that would let me sleep for a few hours, the back aches & not being able to move my neck right were worth it if it let the pain quit for even a small amount of time.  I tell you  there were times I really just wanted to die so the pain would go away. After my son was born my 1st hubby would have to take me to the ER & they would give me a shot to knock me out.  Thank goodness he was a fireman because he would have to carry me to the car & then into the house.  It was the only thing that would work as all the pills they gave me might work once & then quit.


Thank goodness at age 22 the medical field came up with a pill that had a high dose of caffiene in it that if you took it as soon as you felt the headache it might stop it.  Forget about trying to take it after you had a full blown migraine.....But oh was it nice when I could grab the pill in time.


I always know when one is hitting if I am awake when it comes.  I get this weird numbing feeling at my temple, I can hear my heart beating in my head at the area & know it will soon hit & boy will they hit fast....sometimes within seconds of this & other times I have up to 10-15 minutes before the pain explodes.  I tend to now wake up with them more than getting them during the day...so I am out of luck of tending to it while its mild.


I have also learned that certain smells kick one in such as cigar smoke, rubber from shoe or tire stores & heavy perfumes like 'Poison'...oh & candle shops just about kill me to even walk near as well.


So forget me ever going with you to get candles or into a shoe store that deals with only tennis shoes....unless you want me throwing up out your car window on the way home.


Ok so back to what I was talking about earlier, at 25 I decided to go to college, had no insurance & worked part time at the college. No more ER visits or meds with the caffiene in them...no money to pay for it so if I got a migraine I just stayed home in bed in a nice dark room until I could tolerate leaving it to say go to the bathroom.  If I had roommates they all learned if I was in bed & the room was dark to either leave me alone or whisper what they had to ask me.  They also knew no loud music, yelling or parties while I was this way...or they had to deal with a very out of control mad eyed woman.  But since I was always older than my roommates they all respected this or maybe they were just afraid of me & what I might do...


For some reason by the time I was around 37 the headaches quit coming as often, instead of 15 + a month I might have maybe 2-3 a year.  My doctor thought I might have the type that stops for so many years but would come back when I started going through the change of life again...instead of girl to woman it would be woman to crone.....though I was jumping for joy at that moment I knew someday down the road unless a semi truck really hit me I was going to battle them again.....


Fast forward to around 44, hubby has just left for Iraq for a year & all of a sudden I start getting hot flashes...oh like that is sooo fair...come on...this is way too early to start this.  Now I don't panic & sort of find it funny that here I am just 44 & already the Crone is wanting to show up.  So far so good on the migraines, they still come only a few times a year so am just moving on & opening the freezer or walking out in the snow in a tee shirt ever so often  Yeah the neighbors are used to seeing me out in my long tee shirt & panties...hey its not like I am showing anything but really if you have had hot flashes its the way to go & it works fast.  No frost bite either.

I knew my luck had run out around age 48 when I got nailed with a migraine so bad I spent a good 3-4 days in bed...no eating, no talking, trying to not get up to go pee even....had the trusty big plastic bowl by the bed for just in case.  Once the pain had gone I knew my good (bad) friend was back & I would have to deal with it.  But now I had insurance...Yea!!!  So off to the doctors I went, who was so glad to see me.  He hates that I refuse to come in for anything but my yearly checkup so he was more than willing to listen to me & try to help.

I told him I wanted something that was not addictive & that won't put me to sleep unless I took 2 of them, I didn't mind it numbing me or make me slow...Promised not to drive or do heavy lifting while on it so he found one that helps.  It doesn't take the pain completely away but lets me stay up right.  I can take it if I wake up with a migraine or get one during the day, it takes about 15 minutes to work & I am in a nice fluffy cloud with the migraine knocking at the door but not let completely in.  yeah I know I am messing up my examples but you get what I am saying...I know cloud don't have doors but hey its my writing so just go with it.

This last 7 days I have battled a migraine, some days its mild, others its really bad, so out comes the pill.  I have learned I can not do certain things involving glass, I tend to drop a lot of stuff while on this, I can't remember things so don't try & tell me you need me to do something in the next few days cause I won't.  I speak very soft already so when on this med I speak even softer so I have to repeat myself.  I still have to turn off a lot of the lights as it still hurts but not like the semi truck type pain & I have no appetite & can go days without food....but still drink a lot of coffee.

Its not always the easiest life to live, but I am thankful for each day I am migraine free. I no longer have to eat bottles of asprin, hid in the bed & hope no one comes in to ask anything.  I have learned to carry the meds with me when I am out anywhere because I never now what may trigger one, but I am willing & happy to do that.

Most people spend at least 1/3 of their life sleeping but with me I think I've added at least another 1/8 or more being in bed because of the headaches & its not easy to look back & see all that you have missed or are missing.  I hate that part of my life is ruled by these when they come & I just have to bit the bullet & go with it.  I know many never understand & think just take a pill or deal with it but there are times you just can't & you have to back out of life for a bit until you heal.  I have learned also that on the bad days if I am stuck in a bed or chair all day that is alright & to not feel guilty by it....but boy on the good days I am happy to be alive & out doing what I need or want to do.

The last 2 years have been tough with over 15 migraines each month, but I am a stay at home wife & can still take care of my chickens & cats, the dishes, laundry & sweeping of floors may not get done, but for me the important things like the animals get my help no matter what...even if it takes me 15 mins to walk 50 feet to get to them.

Oh I have also learned early on never drink while battling a migraine, eat dairy, eat greasy foods or go out dancing....just a few suggestions that might help you.  also a sock full of raw rice microwave until warm & put over the area that hurts the worst might help, some say ice helps them but for me it was always heat that helped the best.

Just know that you are not alone if you have these types or any type of headaches that seem to rule your world...I am always here & will  listen & be a shoulder if you need it.

Until next time have a wonderful chicken day...M'